True Dimensions
I measure myself
by my accomplishments,
not by my size.
from More to Love, © Elizabeth Patch, all rights reserved
We all categorize, measure and rank the value of things.
It allows us to make smart choices about everything from the type of car we drive,to the neighborhood we live in, to the bottle of wine we choose for dinner.
However, when it comes to measuring ourselves,
if often means ignoring our most valuable qualities:
the wonderfully complex collection of
talents, thoughts, dreams, plans, goals, memories, actions and accomplishments
that make up the true measurement of our lives.
We know in our heart of hearts that we are so much more than just our bodies,
and yet each and every one of us has fallen, at least occasionally,
into the trap of measuring our entire self-worth by our physical dimensions.
“I really should be a size 6″ or “I need bigger breasts to be attractive”
or “I can’t believe I still have a belly roll 2 years after having a baby!”
We have an idea of what a perfect woman looks like,
and we certainly don’t measure up to that!
But who is this mysteriously perfect woman we are measuring ourselves against?
It’s probably NOT your best friend, your sister, the women you work with, or the “girls” in your knitting circle.
You love and accept them, with all of their wonderfully human “flaws”, whether its lines around their eyes, or an occasional bad haircut, or less-than-firm muscle tone.
Who is she?
Is it the 14 year old model in a $6,000 dress, enhanced with an army of makeup artists and photo-retouchers?
Is it those women in the “swimsuit issue” of a sports magazine?
The doll-faced women advertising wrinkle creams and hair color?
Could it be an imaginary “perfect woman” who doesn’t really exist?
So much time wasted on measuring ourselves against an artificial ideal…
Measure yourself by the life you lead!
• Do you lead a life of fear and boredom and despair,
or one of adventure and excitement and joy?• Do you spend your life worrying about what other people think,
or do you live up to your own unique potential and gifts?• Have you created something (anything!) that can be remembered:
a family, a business, a recipe, an invention, a garden, a work of art?• Is the world a better place because of you?
What are your “true dimensions”? How do you measure yourself?
here are some of the original sketches for this illustration
Very good post! Your comments are so true, I'm going to start trying to be more adventuresome, try a few new things, don't worry about the fact I'm not a 2 or look like Sophia Loren! I love your sketches! These are really good!
It's so hard sometimes to step away from measuring anything in our lives that doesn't involve numbers. Thanks for reminding me Elizabeth there are alot more fulfilling ways to look at things!
So true, Elizabeth. Love your insight!
Judy, Julie & Eva:
thanks so much for taking the time to comment! it's wonderful to see your smiling faces again.
I have struggled with my weight and the resultant self-esteem issues ever since I was six years old and gained about 30 pounds while visiting my grandparents over the summer – grandparents who for some reason forgot the word 'no' when it came to sweets. My mother resented having a 'fat' child and treated me accordingly.
As an adult, I still have those days when I'm down in the dumps because I'm not rail thin with perfect hair, make-up and clothes. But thankfully I'm married to a wonderful man who thinks I'm beautiful just the way I am and I know I have much more than my looks to offer the world.
Fabulous, thought provoking post!! Love the quote, that you measure yourself by your accomplishments! Very insightful!
Hey great post!
I love your art work! You have a great message here on your blog. I wish the people we loved thought like this! What do you say when your husband says “I would make love to you if you weren’t heavy”??? Anyway, great blog. I will be back for the moral support!
I love this! What an encouraging and uplifting blog you have here! Makes me feel good reading this.
Congrats on your SITS day and thanks for the wisdom!
14 year old in a $6,000 dress…isn’t THAT the truth. I have really enjoyed your blog today and will definitely be a follower after today!
So many are plagued by self-esteem issues. I have known size women who have a few rear dimples that totally obsess over them. It is VERY sad. Where is the living? Where is the taking hold of life? If I could only make them understand what they are missing over something soooo unimportant as a few dimples.
Another great post!
Cheers
There is no such thing as perfect, it’s a state of mind. I just wanted to say I LOVE your art. It really adds character to your blog. It’s fantastic.
Absolutely love this. Really puts things in perspective. What we see in magazines isn’t real, but our friends, family and those who love us despite our flaws ARE real! Thanks for this!
You send such a wonderful message – love your posts!
How amazing is this post …and such wonderful insight ..
Happy SITS day ..cheers
Yet again you speak the truth. How hard is it to get past the fact that everyone gets older and no one “REALLY” looks like that 14 year old on the cover anyway.
Thanks for encouragement toward boldness! This is great advice to life.
Actually, i wrote something along those lines in my post today:
“Be Bold. Write letters to authors you like, crash parties, email professors whose work you are interested in when you are going to be in their neck of the works for a conference, apply for internships you’re unqualified to succeed in. Have a baby or get a dog. Overshoot. What’s the worst that could happen? They can’t take away your birthday.”
Have a great day!
thank you for sharing these inspiring words!
I must say that this is one of the things I have found to love the most about being in my thirties. I am finally comfortable in my own skin and with the way my body looks RIGHT NOW. Which is completely hysterical given the fact that I just had three babies in four years. Hmm….I used to be a whole lot skinnier and my chesties were not so droopy but after seeing what my body can do (birth my beautiful babies) I’m proud of it.
Love your wisdom!
Another well-written essay that is such great food for thought. Congrats again and again on your SITS day!
What a great post! It’s amazing how when looking we can find encouragement for the very thing that we are going through, and this post is that for me.
My adult dating life was spent with men who constantly let me know that I didn’t measure up to their standards of the perfect female. For once I am with a man who can tell the difference between a fantasy that is sold and a real woman. He loves who I am. The thing is, I am having trouble getting over my past trauma with other men to let him love me. This post is a reminder of what really does matter.
I think you’re right. We’re comparing ourselves to a perfect woman that doesn’t even exist.
Amen sister.
I will be reading you every day my dear!!