New Point of View
Its not my shape
that needs to change.
Its how I see myself.
More to Love, ©elizabeth patch
We all have doubts about our body.
We all find fault with our looks.
Inspecting our flaws in the mirror is an intensely hurtful behavior that many of us do automatically, without thinking.
The critical voice in our head whispers:
too short, too fat, too round, too flat,
too old, too…whatever!
It’s one long list of “problem areas” and rarely a compliment.
What if that harsh and negative whisper became a gentle, loving voice that listed every single wonderful thing about your body?
What if you went about your life with a confident, sassy, proud attitude
instead of an apologetic and disappointed one?
Imagine how different you would feel if you always smiled at your reflection instead of criticized it!
The harder it is to say “Hello, Gorgeous!” when you look in the mirror,
the more often you should say it.
The louder the negative voice is,
the stronger the loving voice should become.
Pay yourself two compliments for every one complaint!
Rejecting and criticizing what you see in the mirror changes nothing.
Accepting and respecting what you see changes everything!
Do you find yourself doing this? What triggers this talk?
What works for you to help stop this behavior?
Please share your ideas and stories!
so very true!! she looks a lot like me!
Beautiful! Thank you so much for this lovely and inspiring post. Enjoy a most lovely weekend.
Smiles….
Beverly
Hi Elizabeth,
I have given you a Beautiful Blogger Award. You can claim it here –
http://www.beautifulyoubyjulie.com/2010/02/beautiful-blogger-award.html
Best,
Julie
thanks Julie!Your blog Beautiful You is so positive for women’s body image.
Now see, I have a slightly different problem. When I look in the mirror, even without clothes, what I see is somebody who has (more than) a few extra pounds she needs to knock off, but truly it doesn’t impact me so negatively that I hate what I see. I look okay. But then I see myself in a photo and I look huge and it’s like who the heck is that girl???? In the mirror, I don’t see it.
I have the same problem as Mary. I look in the mirror and think I look fine. Sure, I have more than a few pounds to lose, but I don’t beat myself up over it. But when I see a picture of myself, I can’t believe that it’s me.
Love all of your posts and your positive outlook. Thank you so much for the inspiration.
Wow, you’re an amazing artist, and have such a positive attitude! I love it!
It’s true we usually see the bad parts & ignore the beautiful ones. And on videos & pictures we always see ourselves bigger than we really are. That’s the way it goes but we should to put all our effort to change it & see the beauty!
Love Your pictures they all are so touching.
http://agytalks.blogspot.com
I have wasted so much time criticizing my body. Now I’m going to take your recommendation: two compliments for every complaint. (And what is it with pictures??? I have the same situation: I see pictures of myself that don’t look like what I see in the mirror. Does the camera really add 10 pounds? How about 20?)
2 compliments for every complaint! well, I’ll be complimenting myself all day long!
my problems with mirrors/photos is that in a mirror I think “OK”, in a photo “whos that old lady?!”
Part of the problem with photos is that the camera really does add pounds, we might be unconsciously comparing ourselves to photos of models and movie stars, and that nobody has Photoshopped our legs longer, our wrinkles/spots away, or our hips smaller…
Work with what you’ve got, accentuate the positive, and take steps to be as healthy, fit and attractive as you can be, no matter what size you wear (or age you are)!
Confident! Sassy! Proud!
this so fits right up my alley this year about self love! I have joined your site. happy sits saturday
This post is so incredibly inspiring. Thank you.
Hi there! I’m back! Thanks for commenting on one of my post! Your posts are truly inspiring. I totally hear you! Happy Saturday Sharefest!
What a wonderful tip. I’ve been so negative about myself all my life. I am going to start giving myself compliments and stop all my negative self talk. Thanks for your wonderful message. Keep up the great work.
I think this is one of the most beautiful pieces I’ve seen of yours. Absolutely gorgeous, with a heartwarming message to go with it.
I am working on being nice to the woman in the mirror. Recently I saw a quote that was something like “Take the “Please like me” sticker off your forehead, and stick it to the mirror, where it will do some good.”
Nice huh?
I love that! Its so true that once you stop needing approval, and just be your true best self (whatever that may be) the approval of others often follows anyway (and even if it doesn’t, so what!)
Beautiful! I love what you’re doing. Seems like most women, from size zero to plus size, have a hard time accepting themselves the way they are. What a great message to send to all women, of all shapes and sizes.
-Aimee
Love this! What a great reminder that we need to learn to be satisfied with ourselves more!
I love this picture because she looks like me, brown and curvy
You really are an amazing artist. The woman in the picture is beautiful. Like so many women who don’t realize it.
Elizabeth! Looks like 2 of us have given you the award
You’ve been given a BEAUTIFUL BLOGGER AWARD! To claim it, go here: http://liveyourideallife.blogspot.com/2010/03/beautiful-blogger-award.html
xo,
Andrea
twice in one week! thank you Andrea. I love the wonderful work you are doing too!
Yeap, you got it. I am one to say a lot of “what if and if only…” when I look in the mirror. But I am actively working on my body and that is changing my self image and confidence. I’m noticing that I am saying more “this is good. this is really really good!”
I’m a work in progress!
Great words of advice!
I absolutely love your quote, “The louder the negative voice is,
the stronger the loving voice should become.” – SO true!!!
Good morning, what a wonderful message, and two blog awards, thank you! Jamie Fox was on Oprah recently, talking to Kirstie Allie about her weight. He was so genuinely supportive and encouraged Kirstie to be her best self, no matter what her weight was. I felt that his encouragement came from his heart, and was sincere. My goal is to say ‘Hello Gorgeous!’ every time I look in the mirror from this moment forward – it sounds like fun, and you can’t help but smile when you say the word ‘gorgeous’. Have a great day!!
I’m sorry I missed that episode. We all need to hear encouragement to be our best selves, at whatever weight we happen to be!
thanks gorgeous!
Thank you for reminding many of us, “What we know, but forget to do.” My Dad use to say, “Don’t beat up on yourself, there’s enough other people out there who will do it for you — and you should delete them from your life.”
Yay Dad! so very true, the world will beat up on us enough, without our help
So true! I noticed I am more likely to deride myself in the mirror if I catch a glimpse of myself standing with poor posture. Then I remember that all those movie stars are trained to strike the most flattering pose possible (in addition to the fact that they spent thousands of dollars on their appearance). The least I can do is strike a flattering pose before passing judgment on my own body. Sometimes that’s all it takes to find my “hello, gorgeous!”
Melissa
that is great advice! Poor posture really does affect one’s appearance
I know I have a tendency to slump, especially by the end of the day… head up, shoulders back, chest out really looks & feels much better.
Its really unfair to compare ourselves to stars/models, yet we all do it.
Its so easy to forget that they have lighting, special camera lenses, makeup artists, personal trainers, and stylists picking out their clothes.
AND not only that, but almost every photo you see has been digitally edited to make the stars look better (smoother skin, slimmer thighs, bigger eyes, fuller lips etc.)
If you’ve ever had a fancy occasion (such as a wedding) where you had your makeup & hair done, the dress fitted, and a professional photographer, you know what a difference all that makes… the day-to-day, however, is when we most need to be kind to ourselves!
[...] absolutely love this quote from Elizabeth Patch: Rejecting and criticizing what you see in the mirror changes nothing. Accepting and respecting [...]
Okay I know I said I was going to check out you blog AFTER my sales calls…but I couldn’t help myself. You are fantastic!!! Love your whole perspective on women loving themselves as is…something we all struggle with. I can’t wait to read more.
Okay…really going to make some sales calls now – you’ve inspired me!!
Love, LOVE this. Thank you for the wake up call, I think that every woman needs to read this post.
[...] A New Point of View: Elizabeth Patch’s More to Love Sketchbook [...]
I love this post AND all these wonderful comments.
I heard Jessica Simpson on the Rachael Ray show say SHE wishes she looked like her own Photoshopped pictures. Seeing what they do to alter star’s pictures is just very eye-opening.
I am pregnant, so I do a lot of poking and prodding of new stretch marks and a growing belly … and yet, I think every single other pregnant woman is gorgeous. Perhaps that should be a sign that I am gorgeous, too!!
Congrats mommy! I agree, the transformations of pregnancy and motherhood are amazing, and yes, gorgeous!
After the baby, however, I know I felt a very un-gorgeous! (no sleep, all those shifting hormones, leaking parts, mushy parts, bad hair) It seems to happen to everyone, especially if we think we have to bounce right back into a bikini…
here’s my little sketch and some thoughts about after the baby Adoration & Exhaustion
I love the scene in Harry Potter when he discovers the Mirror of Erised that shows him his deepest desire. Try looking in the mirror and seeing yourself as you wish. I find that when I start noticing all my flaws in the mirror that I need an attitude adjustment. Then I go back and look at what I like about myself and focus on that. I also use candle light because it is very flattering. Self-acceptance is powerful medicine.
If you are interested in checking out an article I wrote on this, here is the link. I was talking more about aging but weight is a similar body image issue.
http://www.postcardsfromapeacefuldivorce.com/294/mirror-mirror-on-the-wall-whos-the-fairest-one-of-all/
thanks for reminding me about JK Rowling’s storybook magic mirror (she is one of my heroes!) , and the wisdom of Dumbledore the wizard, who says that the happiest person in the world looks into the mirror and sees nothing but himself, exactly how he is.