It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a rough sketch here on my sketchbook blog. . . When my children were babies, mother & child sketches showed up a lot in my sketchbooks, but my children are grown now, so my next babies will someday ( I hope!) be grandchildren…
Being a new mother is such a powerful combination of loving adoration and extreme exhaustion, new responsibilities and routines, a changed lifestyle and a changing body.
The entire universe shifts once you have a child!
On top of all that, the pressure to get back down to our “normal” size is enormous! Those stars who are wearing bikinis 6 weeks after a baby…oh really?
You might not know it from those all those shiny magazine mommies, but it is normal to have a soft belly, heavy breasts, uneven skin tone, tired eyes, and hair that isn’t quite bouncy and full.
This is the real mom experience we all have; you know this, your friends know this, your mother, sisters, co-workers know this, so why do we even think we need to wear a bikini 6 weeks (8 weeks, 12 weeks, whatever) post-partum?
We are all guilty (at least occasionally!) of comparing our authentic life to the second-hand experience of life on TV, in magazines, in movies, on billboards. In this world mothers are always young, tall, trim, photogenic, and stylish. The house is clean, beautifully decorated, organized and spacious. The yard is filled with flowers, happily romping pets and clever children in adorable (yet spotless!) outfits. Combine this imaginary idea of how it should be, with the fatigue and emotions of being a mother, and its no wonder we sometimes feel overwhelmed and disappointed.
Be gentle with yourself!
The experiences you are having as a woman are what matters, not the experiences you think you ought to be having.
So you can’t fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans yet (or ever!)…
Maybe its time to play up those new womanly curves and softer, rounder body.
Get a little glamour on, mom, with whatever time & money your real life allows!
And no matter how perfect you may think other women’s lives are by comparison,
I bet that hidden among the dirty dishes and the dirty diapers in your life are
moments of pure joy, unconditional love and authentic happiness.
What a beautiful sketch. <3 And a gorgeously plump baby! You've really hit the nail on the head with your commentary; motherhood is full of sleepless nights and unwashed hair, a life post-baby that's nearly unrecognizable from the one pre-baby!
Amen, sister! Real life may be messier or more “unattractive” than what we see in the media, but it’s REAL. It’s ours. We should embrace it and stop worrying about what it looks like to outsiders.
Thank you for putting into words what I feel and have felt all along with all three of my babies.
oh I love everything about your sketching process. Your message, as always, is inspiring. Just today I was beating myself up because I realized that after my first son (12 years ago) I lost the baby weight, then gained 30 lbs within the year…and this time, same thing!
But I have been through battle…and I live a kind of secluded life..and food is my comfort and exercise is too hard to fit in right now…and anyway, I realized I dont HATE myself anymore..no matter what that scale reads.
I’m a mama…I’m a super-hero…who cares if the cape is a size 2x?
Mindy
Oh, Elizabeth I absolutely LOVE this! The sketch and the post. With a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old, I can definitely relate, especially someone who still somewhat struggles with the voice of perfectionism. *That* girl doesn’t exist anymore, thankfully. I read somewhere that since our lives change ENORMOUSLY after children, shouldn’t we accept that our bodies will too?
So yes, soft bellies, heavy breast, skin and hair changes come aboard. I would never trade it for my babies. Never.
I write what I feel and I know in my heart, and I am so thrilled that I’m not just speaking for myself. We ARE mamas & superheros! REAL life IS messy, babies come with sleepless nights…AND we love our children so much it there are no words for it.
“moments of pure joy, unconditional love and authentic happiness.”
so true, even on a “bad day”, when everything seems to be coming apart at the seams, there are those little moments that shine through. thanks again!
ps: I love your “finished” work, but I really love seeing these rough sketches.
Hi Elizabeth.
I’ve just found your blog via SITS and absolutely love your drawings. Do you mind me doing a post on them? I will of course link back to you. Lovely pics, a bientot, Carole x
of course I don’t mind!
Lovely sketch! Thanks for sharing, My youngest baby is 19 months and I still do not have my pre-baby body. It’s ok though, I wouldn’t change having my sweet little girls for any BODY!
I just found your blog through SITS, and I’m so glad I clicked on it. I absolutely love the illustrations, and your attitude on body image & health at every size.
Stunning sketch. You have an amazing talent. And the post totally hits home.
Wonderful post and sketch!
Stopping by via SITS to say hello.
Enjoy the rest of your day.
Harriet
What a beautiful sketch. Reminds me of myself and my daughter. Thank you.
Mary
I don’t feel the need to ever fit back into a bikini. I figured those days were over once I started having babies. And that’s OK. I do appreciate my curves, and the beach is just as much fun in my mom swimming suit. Beautiful drawing. If only everyone could see the beauty of a body that carried and nurtured a child.
Hi Elizabeth, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to have discovered you through Mindless Junque! Your art is just beautiful. It just drips with wholesomeness, every bit of it, not to mention all the stories each one tells! I can just see my dream home having walls of your art on it and I’m not even in the ‘large’ category, not that it matters. Your sketches ARE the book! Just being here assures me that my ‘blog travels’ have not been in vain
I have visited your blog before. The more I learn, the more I keep coming back! ;-P