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Family Traits
These are the hips These are the thighs of my mom. This is the shape of the women we are. We are feminine, ©elizabeth patch,More to Love |
I attended a big family wedding this past week.
It was a wonderful event, with many different families, step-families and in-laws all gathered together to celebrate.
The bridesmaids and the groomsmen were a diverse collection of dear friends.
Even though they all shared the same fancy gowns or tuxedos,
it was striking how different they all looked from each other:
from the whitest natural blonde to the blackest black hair, from pale to dark skin, short, tall, heavy, thin and everything in-between.
But what was really striking was the clear resemblance among the biological relatives!
Even a stranger could have picked out who might be related to who, from the youngest cousin to the oldest grandparent.
Each family had similarities among themselves that were passed from generation to generation:
the blue-eyed brunettes, the brown-eyed redheads, the tall and lanky, the short and sturdy, the shape of the noses or mouths.
It was very easy to tell who were sisters and who were sisters-in-law!
I’m sure you’ve noticed the same thing in your own family,
we all love to comment: she’s got her father’s eyes, he looks like his uncle, I look like my mother.
But I’m sure you’ve also noticed that you are proud of something you’ve inherited from past generations
(your big brown eyes or your thick curly hair for example)
and complain about something else (your boobs or your thighs for example).
Here’s an interesting question:
Why should one trait, passed down from all of the generations that came before you, be valued,
and another trait be such a source of dismay?
In all truth, we have no choice in the matter;
We can’t wake up tomorrow morning and be any taller than our bodies are programmed to be.
We can color our hair, but the roots will always tell the truth.
We can have plastic surgery to “fix” our nose or increase our breast size,
but our grandchildren may end up with the exact same nose or bust we’ve tried to change.
We can complain all day, every day about our hips, follow strict exercise routines and even stricter diets,
but if our ancestors were wide-hipped and curvy, then so are we!
What if we stopped complaining about the bodies we’ve inherited
and simply embraced every aspect of who we are?
What if we stopped complaining about the “lucky” ones who got the “good genes” and realized how lucky we are too?
We are the great-great-great-grandchildren of the women who gave us these hips, these thighs, this shape.
Let’s thank them in our hearts and remember them with gratitude,
instead of wishing they had given us some other, different body.
Let’s hope that our great-great-great-grandchildren will know to thank us too.
Adam & Kait:
my heart is overflowing with joy as you start your new life together! Congratulations and Mazel Tov on your wedding, I’m wishing you decades of love and happiness!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Elizabeth Patch, Dorlee M. Dorlee M said: Your Grandmother's Hips @elizabethpatch http://bit.ly/dhweBa Family traits…We are feminine, beautiful, strong! #bodyimage [...]
Not the body so much as the fleshy hairy face mole. My grandmother had it (it was huge, huge I tell you!), my mother has it. And I can see the start of one on mine. And we’ve all had it in the exact same location. Right cheek between jaw and cheek bone.
I love the illustrations. So sweet! Also, it’s so true that body shape is passed down in families and that we should be proud to inherit them.
A hairy face mole, on other hand… yeah, I think I’d get that removed if I could. Vericose veins run in my family, and I don’t feel attached to mine. Some things are real (though not earth-shattering) flaws, while others are just differences.
Oh the family moles, the family varicose veins! Not everything that “runs in the family” is something we would pick. And of course, there is nothing wonderful about an inherited disease…
Some things about our bodies can, and should, be changed/fixed/altered, whether its merely cosmetic changes or a true health problem.
And certainly its fun to “enhance” things about ourselves (hello padded bras, lipstick, hot curlers!)to make changes that don’t come naturally.
But its a downright pointless shame to feel miserable because you weren’t born looking like *name someone here*.
Like it or not, we are who we are, so why not like it?
Love your illustrations. What a talent! Also enjoyed reading your post. WE are who we are is right on point.
Hope you have a great week!
Last time we went home for Thanksgiving my younger cousin walked in and it was like looking in a mirror–we even had the same hairstyle at the time. Her little girl looks like some of my toddler pictures.
Still, I can wish I got Mom’s cute little nose instead of Dad’s honking schnoz and sometimes do, but I wouldn’t go so far as to get rhinoplasty. If I did, I wouldn’t look like me!
exactly! you, wonderful, you!
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