Small Bites of Pleasure

It’s easy to think of occasional big pleasures:
a long romantic weekend with an amazing lover,
a gourmet meal at a top restaurant,
a care-free day at the beach,
a head-to-toe luxury spa treatment.

But how often can you really find the time or money
for indulging in those big treats?
Between the job and the housework,
the family and the daily emergencies,
even weekends are jam-packed with chores,
deadlines and obligations.
It sometimes seems that all the fun and relaxation,
pleasure and joy is saved up for vacations and holidays.

And even when some happy little treat comes along,
there’s that inner voice that whispers: Not now!
You’re too fat, too old, or too tired.
You don’t have the right clothes.
You’re having a bad hair day.
There’s not enough time. You’ve never done this before.
The voice has a million excuses for why you can’t enjoy the treat.
It’s almost as if you don’t deserve to enjoy yourself at all.

Where else have you heard that negative voice?
Think of the last time you went on a diet.
You can’t eat something until after the diet is over.
You can’t eat something until you weigh a certain number.
You can’t eat something  until you can fit into a certain size.
That same negative voice furiously whispers,
stirring up all sorts of conflicting emotions and inner arguments,
whether you eat that “something” or not!
Whatever pleasure you might get from eating chocolate cake
is completely ruined by guilt or remorse or the speed at which you gobble it down.

In the worst times of my disordered eating,
I would deny myself even a tiny taste of something “forbidden”,
no matter how wonderful the food might have been.
I grimly remained hungry, irritable and weak.
Even when I “cheated on my diet”, I had lost all sense of pleasure from food.
It took me a very long time to re-learn how to savor the
“pleasures of the table” without emotional drama.
I started by learning to enjoy one small bite every time I ate.

But the diet-mind habit is hard to break!
Instead of rationing food,
I still occasionally find myself rationing other simple joys on a daily basis.
There’s no time for fun! No money for pleasure!
Instead of being hungry and irritable,
I become stressed-out and irritable…

So now, when I find myself slipping into my too-stressed-to-enjoy-myself mode
I try to consciously savor small bites of pleasure in my daily life:
I may be stuck in traffic on my commute to work,
but that heated seat sure feels nice on a winter’s morning.
The sink might be piled high with dishes,
but there is a $5 bouquet of flowers from the grocery store on the kitchen table.
A day at the spa is a rare treat,
but a do-it-yourself facial can feel pretty special too.

Occasional big pleasures are wonderful,
but allowing yourself to enjoy small pleasures
every single day can transform your entire world.

Where can you find those small bites of pleasure in your life?
What are the tasty little morsels of joy that you’ve been overlooking?
Is there a delicious nibble of wonderful you could be enjoying?

Thanks to Joy Tanksley at the blog Being Joy for inviting me to write about February’s self-discovery word: Pleasure.
Stop by her blog for 30 great links all on the topic of pleasure!